I'm talking about (the negative things that don't matter to me, the ones where everyone's playing around and having fun, and I'm wondering what could have gone wrong. I'm feeling dark and exhausted, and I'm struggling to find a way out. I'm being tortured, and I can't forget about it. I'm surrounded by a terrible scent, and I'm trying to find a way out, but I can't find happiness or reason. Because of this, I can't be kind and cheerful forever.)